I am so incredibly blessed to be speaking here this morning. Thank you so much for the kind invitation; it’s truly an honour. I do feel a little inadequate with the subject. Grief is a hard subject to break down because it manifests differently in people’s lives. Grief is unique and personal.

"Death is not unusual. People die every day. But each death is unique. Lives woven together are now torn apart." - Anonymous

While grief can be a broad topic-as H. Norman Wright introduces in his book Dealing With Loss, we can grieve a job, health, or a season of life-our focus this morning will be specific to grieving the loss of a loved one. It is my desire to build a foundation to help with the grieving process, whether you are facing that today or in the future.

Introduction: The Tears of Christ

One of the most profound verses in all of Scripture is also the shortest in the English language:

John 11:35 "Jesus wept."

These two words change everything about how we understand grief. This moment happens at the tomb of Lazarus. Jesus has already declared, "I am the resurrection, and the life." He knows the miracle is minutes away. And yet, He weeps. Why?

1. Jesus Wept Because Death Is an Enemy

Jesus "groaned in the spirit" and was "troubled" (John 11:33). The Greek word for "groaned" carries the idea of indignation or anger. Jesus was not detached; He was confronting what sin had done to His creation. Death is a cruel intruder.

"Sin has broken the world, and death is a symbol of that brokenness." - Getting to the Other Side of Grief

1 Corinthians 15:26: "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."

1 Corinthians 15:55-56: "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin..."

The sting represents the separation and brokenness of what God originally created as whole.

2. Jesus Wept Because He Loved

His tears were intimately connected to love. He and Lazarus had become close friends.

"Who is capable of love is also capable of suffering." - John Stott, The Cross of Christ

John 11:36: "Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!"

If there is no love, there is no grief. Grief is love wounded. When I was 15 years old, I lost my dad to acute leukemia. I did not have a theological grid for grief; I just knew something inside of me had been torn out. Last year, my wife April lost her mother suddenly to a massive heart attack. Jesus wept because love had been disrupted by death.

3. Jesus Wept Even Knowing a Resurrection Was Coming

He knew Lazarus would walk out of that tomb. He knew sorrow would turn to rejoicing. Knowing eternal truths does not eliminate present sorrow. Christian grief is not the absence of pain; it is pain with promise. Jesus did not rebuke Mary for crying or tell Martha to be stronger. He entered into their sorrow.

4. Jesus Wept to Show Us the Heart of God

The tears of Jesus reveal that God is not detached, unmoved, or impatient with our sorrow.

"The Bible does not give us a philosophical answer to suffering. It gives us a person." - Timothy Keller, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering

If Jesus wept, then grief is not weakness, sorrow is not sin, and tears are not faithlessness. They are human.

Part I: What Is Grief?

Isaiah 53:3 teaches us that Jesus was "a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief." Grief is sorrow caused by loss.

A. Grief is the Normal Response to Loss

Grief is not a disorder or a spiritual defect.

"Grief is defined simply as the normal and natural reaction to loss." - Principles and Practice of Grief Counselling "

There is nothing wrong with grief. It’s a natural extension of love. It’s a healthy and sane response to loss." - Megan Devine, It’s Okay That You’re Not Okay

B. Grief is a Whole-Person Experience

"Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly. For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed." Psalm 31:9-10

"Grief impacts you physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually... You don’t just feel grief - you experience it with your whole being." - H. Norman Wright, Experiencing Grief

C. Grief Shakes Your Sense of Stability

"I am afflicted and ready to die from my youth up: while I suffer thy terrors I am distracted." Psalm 88:15

Grief feels like a loss of security. When I was a kid, I thought nothing bad could happen to us. When it does, it shakes our foundations.

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." - C.S. Lewis

D. Grief is Not Linear

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross popularized the "stages of grief," but they were never meant to be a rigid staircase. Grief is more like waves.

"Grief is cyclical. It revisits. It resurfaces. It does not follow a predictable calendar." - H. Norman Wright

My dad has been in Heaven for 30 years, and I still think about him and wish we could talk. There is no expiration date on sorrow.

E. Grief is Biblical

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:4

Grief is not the absence of faith.

"Lament is a prayer in pain that leads to trust." - Mark Vroegop, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy

F. Grief and Hope Can Coexist

"But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope." 1 Thessalonians 4:13

Paul does not say "sorrow not." He says "not as others." Christian hope is sorrow sustained by the certainty of resurrection. We cry, and we cling.

Part II: How God Meets Us in Grief

"My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?" Psalm 42:3

The answer from Scripture is not that He stands distant. It is that He draws near.

A. God Draws Near to the Brokenhearted

"The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." Psalm 34:18

Jesus is not a distant observer. As Hebrews 4:15 reminds us, we have a High Priest who is touched with the feeling of our infirmities. He is present in midnight phone calls and hospital rooms.

B. God Does Not Rebuke Tears

"Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?" Psalm 56:8

Jesus welcomes our laments. He doesn't demand we hide our tears.

"When we are in pain, God feels the sting in his chest. Our frustrations and questions do not fluster him. He knows all about them." - Mark Vroegop, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy

C. He Meets Us With the Comfort of Others

"Blessed be God... the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble..." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

"Though the presence of a brother or sister in Christ does not replace God, the nearness of another believer is a very significant means of God’s grace." - David Powlison, God's Grace in Your Suffering

Sometimes the most Christlike thing you can do is not speak-but sit and listen, just as Job's friends did for seven days.

D. God Anchors Us in Future Hope

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain..." Revelation 21:4

Grief is temporary for our lifetime. The Resurrection is permanent.

Part III: How Do We Walk Through Grief?

Grief is not something we fix; it is something we walk through. Psalm 23:4 says, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..."

A. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

Psalm 62:8 urges us to "pour out your heart before him." Grief is not complaining; it is crying in God's direction. You must yield to it and accept that it moves in waves.

B. Stay Connected - Don’t Isolate

Galatians 6:2 commands us to "Bear ye one another’s burdens." You were not meant to carry grief alone. Talk to a pastor, a trusted friend, or a family member.

C. Do the "Next Thing"

When looking weeks into the future feels paralyzing, the foundational principle of surviving early grief is to simply do the next thing. Focus on one small step at a time.

D. Care for Your Physical Body

1 Thessalonians 5:23 prays that your "whole spirit and soul and body be preserved." We are triune beings. It is hard to stand emotionally if we are drained physically. Remember the DEER principle:

• Drink
• Eat
• Exercise
• Rest

E. Guard Against Bitterness

"Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you..." Hebrews 12:15

Grief can soften a heart, or it can harden it. Sorrow says, "This hurts." Bitterness says, "This is unfair, and I will not release it."

F. Take God on the Journey

Walking through grief does not mean forgetting your loved one. It means learning to carry their memory with you, building a meaningful life around the edges of a permanent vacancy.

"God will not try to hurry you up just to make you feel better. He respects your humanness and limitations... But you can be assured from the Bible and from the testimony of countless others who have experienced grief before you that He is still there." - Carol Peters, A Christian’s Journey Through Grief

Conclusion

Grief is complex, and I would never try to minimize it in your life. But our God understands all of those complexities.

1 Peter 5:7 "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

Does Jesus care when I've said, "Goodbye" To the dearest on earth to me, And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks-Is it aught to Him? Does He see?

Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares, His heart is touched with my grief; When the days are weary, the long night dreary, I know my Savior cares. (J. Lincoln Hall / Frank E. Graeff)